When “self-care” becomes just another source of stress

The exhaustion of doing everything right (and how to get out of it)

We live in a curious time. There has never been so much information about wellness, personal development, and productivity… and at the same time, we have never been this exhausted. Have you ever felt like self-care turns into yet another source of stress? If so, keep reading.

If you want to be "fine," it looks as if you have to do everything:

• Keep an updated gratitude diary
• Have a detailed weekly planner
• Write an emotional diary
• Exercise a couple of times a week
• Meditate
• Sleep 8 hours
• Record all your habits
• Use two or three different apps to organize your life
• And of course, you have to do everything religiously on a regular basis, without exceptions.

The results are quite predictable, aren't they? Stress and burnout.

But here's the most sophisticated trap.
If you do all that, you get exhausted.
If you don't do it, guilt appears: "I should be doing it".

So no matter what you do, something inside you still feels like it’s not enough.

Wellness turned into an endless to-do list and a source of stress

What started as an invitation to self-care has turned into a kind of emotional productivity .
Now it’s not enough to perform well at work. You’re also expected to perform well at managing your inner life.

The problem isn’t journaling, exercise, or planning.
The problem is the unspoken idea that if you don’t do everything on the list, then something is wrong with you.

And that’s where many people who come into coaching process tell a similar story:

"I know what I should do to feel better, but I don't do it... and that makes me feel even worse."

It's not lack of discipline.
It's overwhelm.

When self-care becomes just another demand

Many people feel trapped between two equally exhausting options:

1. Doing everything.Holding up impossible routines, with the constant feeling of never quite keeping up.
2. Not doing it.And carrying the guilt of not “working on themselves.”

This cycle creates anxiety, frustration, and a vague but persistent sense of personal failure.
And no, it doesn’t get fixed with yet another app.

So, now what?

Here are some real, non-heroic solutions that actually work and that we focus on extensively in life coaching and professional coaching processes..

1. Change the logic: fewer tools, more discernment

You don’t need ten practices.
You need one or two that truly fit you and your current stage of life.

Wellbeing isn’t cumulative.
You don’t feel better by doing more things, but by doing the right things for you.

Ask yourself:

• Does this support me or drain me?
• What is my main source of stress right now?
• Am I doing this because it helps, or because I “should”?

2. Stop trying to manage everything at once

Planning, reflecting, feeling, growing professionally, taking care of your body… none of this has to happen at the same time or with the same intensity.

There are seasons for organizing, and seasons for simply holding things together.
Trying to optimize everything at once is a guaranteed recipe for burnout.

3. Radically simplify

One notebook can replace five apps.
One well-phrased question can replace pages of journaling.

A simple example:
Instead of an endless journal, try just one question a day:

“What do I need today to feel a little better?”

Nothing more.

4. Accept that “not doing everything” is also self-care

This is hard, but it’s essential.
Taking a break from tools is also a conscious choice.

Not journaling for a while doesn’t mean you’ve given up.
It may mean you’re actually listening to yourself.

5. Coaching isn’t about adding more tasks, it’s about removing unnecessary sources of stress

A good Life coaching or career coaching process isn’t about giving you more things to do. It’s about helping you:

• Prioritize
• Make intentional choices
• Let go of expectations that aren’t yours
• Build a way of living and working that is sustainable, not perfect

Sometimes, the biggest breakthrough is demanding less of yourself..

Wellbeing shouldn’t feel like another full-time job

If taking care of yourself has become just another source of stress, something needs adjusting.
Not you.
The approach.

Real wellbeing isn’t measured by the number of habits you maintain, but by the internal calm with which you live your professional and personal life.

And paradoxically, it often begins when we stop trying to do everything “right” and start doing things more in our own way.